Gray's Armory Ghosts

Gray’s Armory
By Alan States

Alone in a room,
buzzing with people I can’t quite see
My mind has gone into the past that is present in the room now
Flittering shadows, shades of white, blurred so distinctly
Ghosts, Spirits, Echoes of what was, who was.

I turn off my ears, and listen to the long unheard neverending chatter all around me.
I sneeze.
Earthbound, my soles points of contact
for a time elapsed, whose time has come
– only peering through a filmy window

An open mind is a fresh breeze airing out long dormant
green hills, epic loves, Civil Wars and American Wakes.
Stories.
I walked into the past with my senses seeking
And reeled, lost for hours in the book of what was.

Internet Dating No Shit Sherlocks

Internet Dating No Shit Sherlocks:
Don’t say:
you’re looking for love – no kidding? So are most single people, that’s why they went online
can go from jeans to little black dress- Everyone says it, few can do it with panache
you love laughter - really? Wow, whodda thunk it?
your life is a mess – wonderful, can I have some too?
Be wallowing in dating pity, of all that MEN have done to you – I know, It’s always the man’s fault (but when we read this, we are thinking: I know It’s always someone ELSE’S fault, for you). We don’t care about your ex, and the things he did badly. We are not him.
Say “Don’t contact me, if you’re only looking to screw” – classy; great first impression

Remember:
A picture is worth a thousand words, but a smile is a novel
Show a picture of a whip, if you want your men to grovel
If you hate to camp, show a bikini and hair dryer
Creative subtleties work better, than being thought a liar
Don’t have more pictures, of your dogs than of you
Or expressions that suggest dating, is the last thing you want to do.

Repetition breeds contempt, for nearly every profile the above proclaims,
For every-day seekers, there’s more important things to name;
How did the journey of life, bring you to here?
What did you learn, and what do you fear?
Adventurous is generic, sky-diving is not.
It matters so little, how well you stir the pot.
Grounded in reality, with dreams to ice the cake,
top off your own make up, lack of powder won’t make you quake.
A glimpse of true you is worth a hundred clichés,
for no one is perfect, and we actually like your little frays.
If your desire is communicator, your profile should have more than twenty words
and its really not “cute”, to use “dorky” or “nerd”.

***
Met an “Internet Gem”, who had nothing positive to say
Critical little slices, for each and every day
Knew no news, ‘cept her own little story
Every topic turned to reflect, more of her glory

So I laughed to myself, and moved on

Went on a first date, with a girl who would only have desert
Hard to get a word out, or even a flirt
I kissed her goodbye, in the literal as well
Flipped out in response, to give me hell

So I laughed to myself, and moved on

Chatted for a while, with a girl I was knowing well
But when we met, I had no clue in hell.
She walked right by me, I didn’t know who she was
Till she called my name, and I did as one at meetings does
I shook her hand, thought, “who the hell is this?”
From a picture so different, Jimminy Kris!
We chatted, we talked, dinner was quite good;
twenty year old pictures, might as well be wearing a hood.
Using an old pic, what honest relationship do you seek?
When at last we meet, your self image so weak?
Dishonesty is a turn-off, building foundations have no chance
for any true mates, to persevere through the dance.

So I shook my head, wondering what other shades of gray would you justify, and moved on

A date cancelled our dinner, said come to her house instead
She had been at work all day, and was feeling half dead
I said I understood, did she prefer another night?
But when I got there, I got a mighty fright.
There were so many cats, hair was curling in the air,
food was strewn all over, in this large farmhouse lair
We got a good pizza, watched a movie and talked
At licking fingers from the ice cream carton, I just had to balk
My stomach was turning over, for fresh air I did pine
No thanks, I said, and enough of sweet blackberry flavored wine!
I bid my adieu’s, the hair brushed from my sight,
Disentangled out the door, and slipped into the night

So I fought off the shivers, and moved on

I met a girl at Sully’s, she blew me away
Honest and straightforward, a refreshing spring day
We hit it off well, each date better than the last
“This one at is different”, panoramas so vast
She asked me to fuck her, this I wouldn’t do
Interwoven experiences have to be ingredients in the glue
She railed, she got drunk, she got brazen and she cried
I told her we had too much potential, to just fuck on the side
She tried to throw me out, I held her cooled off to talk
Red flags were crackling, but I wasn’t ready to walk
I had seen flashes of brilliance, of fitting just right
Crying jags came more often, letting her go took all my might
Gentle hands, gentle spirit, but her emotions all asunder
The peaks and the valleys, I never knew when the thunder
I know you need help, how to get help to you?
There’s no way we could survive, when you won’t see it too.

So I steel myself, and move on

Poltergeist Stereo

I bought a stereo right out of college - one of those big ass ones - Onkyo. It worked great, had all the bells and shistles. ^ CD player, dual cassette with high speed dubbing, LP player, tuner etc.. About 8 years ago, I came home and it was dead, dead, dead. I BELIEVE someone blew the speakers. Tested them, tuner, wires etc.. NADA. I kept it, thinking I will get it fixed at some point. It was all nice and neat in a cabinet, and the big ass speakers made a great stand for my humidor. About a year ago, a friend said, "Ach, you blew the receiver, get a new one on ebay or something." So I posted on the incredible, landfill saving sight, Freecycle, and sure enough, a nice guy gave me a receiver. I hooked it up - Nothing. Son of a bitch. So I pulled out the replacement receiver and noticed the wires looked funny. I rehooked up the old receiver and played around with it for a while. Suddenly, "a strange new perfume rose, and lightning flashes in her eyes, and he knows that she knows. And the Thunder rolls. dm dm dm, And the Thunder Rolls." and I turned down the volume.

After eight years, my stereo came back to life. I will not question the hand of God.

Have a Little Respect

A Circular Reference – What respect begets

President of the United States. It is a lofty position. One that has not always been filled with honor, certainly, but one of high ideals. The media so often decries the lack of respect in the world, yet is the first to treat people disrespectfully if they do something the media deems wrong. Soon the line between wrong and a non-judgmental action have blurred. The disdain crosses from times of criticism, to all times. Instead of President Obama, we have Obama.
I certainly understood the negative backlash against President Bush. We went from the greatest economic boom in our history to nearing the worst. The Great Depression returns. Yet still, if you don’t respect the man, at least respect the office. It all boils down to that simple word, full of huge ideals. Respect, for others, and for ourselves. We get what we give. Like or not, respecting the office is a simple thing – the President has inspired the young for the first time in two generations. It is the first step, waiting for us to take the next.
If the CEO of your company does something you don’t like, you may grumble, but you don’t publicly disparage him or her. Even blogging about it can get you fired. Yet we disparage our President just in general conversation more often than we honor him or her. Calling someone by their last name is fine on a basketball court. It is a classless sign in the boardroom, or in politics.
We can’t seem to understand why other countries don’t get us. Our general lack of respect for each other is one huge reason, in all its meanings. I have many relatives in Canada and in Europe. Universally, they say, why do Americans treat each other (and folks who they are visiting) so boorishly? What has been done to them that is so horrible that they have they no respect?
We are a young country. Some say that immaturity is behind it. I disagree. The folks that came here had all the development of their own countries behind them. We are a country founded on vast emigration, most often to escape persecution or for better opportunities. We are persecuted, and leave, only to persecute others? That makes no sense. Don’t we learn from those kinds of things?
As kids, when we see something we like, we say “ I want to be like that when I grow up. When we see something, person or situation we do not like, we incorporate that into our modis operandi as well. Then, somewhere along the way, some folks lose sight of that – of what they wanted to be.
We will bypass someone hurt more often than help; disparage the sinner and disproportionally ignore the saint; take joy in others failures and pound our chests in our own successes, no matter how small. This is not competition, it is self-absorption – for Christ’s sake, act like you’ve been there before.
Respect gives you staying power, something with more life than one-hit wonders and flash-in-the-pan “celebrities”. Like life, you get out of it what you put into it. Treat others poorly, you may still succeed, but not for long. How many celebrities commit suicide, do drugs and alcohol and suffer depression – far, far above the normal rates- compared to the average Joe or Jane.
Look at the long-tern successes – do they do those things long term – resoundingly, no. They may falter, as we all do, but the ones successful across generations overcome it. They become less about themselves and more about the world we live in. They have staying power, and long term impact. Think about the ones most successful in the most visable field – entertainment. Bruce Springsteen, Bono, Susan Sarandon, Harrison Ford, to name just a few off the top of my head. No one agrees with everything they have done, or espouse, but they are respected, and have survived the soul-eating profession because of how they treat others, and themselves. They take others seriously, but they are the first to laugh at themselves.
At the end of each day, we have exchanged one day of our life, for something. We can’t get it back, or really make up for lost time. We can have urgency, live life with passion and priority, but we can’t get those days back. Like those chain- reaction TV commercials where someone sees someone do something for another, or for all – pick up some trash or help a person move something, so then they do a simple act of kindness too, and it spreads in ripples; President Kennedy’s Peace Corp., or Volunteers of America. Looking outward instead of inward becomes ingrained, and both the opportunities and the rewards multiply.
If you are waiting for someone to give respect to you, earn it by your words, by your actions – and the standards that you hold others too as well. Otherwise, it is a long wait for a bus that never arrives.
Enablers always suffer for their weakness. You take the first step – call out the media when they are disrespectful and the media will act respectfully. Call out a thug when he or she acts like a thug, and thugs will disappear. There is strength in numbers and numbers don’t lie.
"In Germany they came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant, Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up." - Pastor Martin Niemoeller

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, be worthy of imitation. Then, people see the example, and duplicate it. You can say that it is not that simple, but it is.

American Ideals / Sportsmanship

Jontell Franklin, a senior basketball player from Milwaukee Madison, lost his mom last week to cancer. He decided to sit out his game against DeKalb a week later, after originally deciding to play. He arrived late, and since he wasn't on the game roster - the coach never thought Jontell would make it, the officials had to access a technical foul, giving DeKalb two foul shots. The player selected, Darious McNeil, walked up to the foul line - and bounced the ball, instead of shooting it. The official returned the ball for the 2nd foul shot, and Darius again missed on purpose.
McNeal said, "I did it for the kid who lost his mom. It was the right thing to do."

Life throw many lessons at us, too many of them are about winning at all costs. This will stay in the minds of those players long after their athletic careers are over. No one will remember the score, or probably even who won. But they will remember this, and be better human beings for it.

Class act DeKalb High, coach Dave Rohlman and Darius McNeal.

Erin O'Brien's Blog

I read Erin's blog most days, Scene article most weeks. She did a Posh Portraits piece, where she wrote about the whole experience of a boudoir photo shoot. Her pictures were creative, and funny, as was the article. She calls her husband goat - dunno why, but he is a lucky guy. I like a lot of her writing - she is not afraid to say what she feels, wants, thinks - most papers wouldn't, and maybe in a law suit happy world, can't, print that honesty anymore. Most women don't have the confidence to say it either. Scene is often more innuendo than fact, but Erin's column is viewpoint, so it doesn't get lost in the headlines.

The fact that she does say what she thinks, and is not held back by what is "proper", is refreshing and intriguing. I don't always agree with her writing points, but we need more women like Erin O'Brien. The divorce rate would drop, the fights might even rise, but there would be a lot less miscommunication and a lot more honesty in this little world of ours.

I look better going than coming

Her famous last words, and she just kept on going. Discussion was futile, and reassurance pointless. While she does have a spectacular ass, that wasn't the attraction - a voracious appetite for life and feeling things was. Now she is gone, flitting from one relationship, and one dramatic catastrophe, to another. I miss the curve of her hip against mine, her hair in my hands, her willingness to just get up and go anywhere and laughter that could peel at any time, in any place. She liked dangerous situations - not skydiving kind of danger, but edgy excitement, and doing things most girls wouldn't have the self-confidence to do. She'd walk naked through a crowd for the experience. Just after I saw her last, ending with that " I look better going than coming" comment, she guiltily emailed me goodbye, she was moving, and getting married - WHAT? She is gone, and I am still wondering, WTF just happened.