Have a Little Respect

A Circular Reference – What respect begets

President of the United States. It is a lofty position. One that has not always been filled with honor, certainly, but one of high ideals. The media so often decries the lack of respect in the world, yet is the first to treat people disrespectfully if they do something the media deems wrong. Soon the line between wrong and a non-judgmental action have blurred. The disdain crosses from times of criticism, to all times. Instead of President Obama, we have Obama.
I certainly understood the negative backlash against President Bush. We went from the greatest economic boom in our history to nearing the worst. The Great Depression returns. Yet still, if you don’t respect the man, at least respect the office. It all boils down to that simple word, full of huge ideals. Respect, for others, and for ourselves. We get what we give. Like or not, respecting the office is a simple thing – the President has inspired the young for the first time in two generations. It is the first step, waiting for us to take the next.
If the CEO of your company does something you don’t like, you may grumble, but you don’t publicly disparage him or her. Even blogging about it can get you fired. Yet we disparage our President just in general conversation more often than we honor him or her. Calling someone by their last name is fine on a basketball court. It is a classless sign in the boardroom, or in politics.
We can’t seem to understand why other countries don’t get us. Our general lack of respect for each other is one huge reason, in all its meanings. I have many relatives in Canada and in Europe. Universally, they say, why do Americans treat each other (and folks who they are visiting) so boorishly? What has been done to them that is so horrible that they have they no respect?
We are a young country. Some say that immaturity is behind it. I disagree. The folks that came here had all the development of their own countries behind them. We are a country founded on vast emigration, most often to escape persecution or for better opportunities. We are persecuted, and leave, only to persecute others? That makes no sense. Don’t we learn from those kinds of things?
As kids, when we see something we like, we say “ I want to be like that when I grow up. When we see something, person or situation we do not like, we incorporate that into our modis operandi as well. Then, somewhere along the way, some folks lose sight of that – of what they wanted to be.
We will bypass someone hurt more often than help; disparage the sinner and disproportionally ignore the saint; take joy in others failures and pound our chests in our own successes, no matter how small. This is not competition, it is self-absorption – for Christ’s sake, act like you’ve been there before.
Respect gives you staying power, something with more life than one-hit wonders and flash-in-the-pan “celebrities”. Like life, you get out of it what you put into it. Treat others poorly, you may still succeed, but not for long. How many celebrities commit suicide, do drugs and alcohol and suffer depression – far, far above the normal rates- compared to the average Joe or Jane.
Look at the long-tern successes – do they do those things long term – resoundingly, no. They may falter, as we all do, but the ones successful across generations overcome it. They become less about themselves and more about the world we live in. They have staying power, and long term impact. Think about the ones most successful in the most visable field – entertainment. Bruce Springsteen, Bono, Susan Sarandon, Harrison Ford, to name just a few off the top of my head. No one agrees with everything they have done, or espouse, but they are respected, and have survived the soul-eating profession because of how they treat others, and themselves. They take others seriously, but they are the first to laugh at themselves.
At the end of each day, we have exchanged one day of our life, for something. We can’t get it back, or really make up for lost time. We can have urgency, live life with passion and priority, but we can’t get those days back. Like those chain- reaction TV commercials where someone sees someone do something for another, or for all – pick up some trash or help a person move something, so then they do a simple act of kindness too, and it spreads in ripples; President Kennedy’s Peace Corp., or Volunteers of America. Looking outward instead of inward becomes ingrained, and both the opportunities and the rewards multiply.
If you are waiting for someone to give respect to you, earn it by your words, by your actions – and the standards that you hold others too as well. Otherwise, it is a long wait for a bus that never arrives.
Enablers always suffer for their weakness. You take the first step – call out the media when they are disrespectful and the media will act respectfully. Call out a thug when he or she acts like a thug, and thugs will disappear. There is strength in numbers and numbers don’t lie.
"In Germany they came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant, Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up." - Pastor Martin Niemoeller

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, be worthy of imitation. Then, people see the example, and duplicate it. You can say that it is not that simple, but it is.